Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Weigh In Wednesday (and some other things)

Okay peeps, so I was totally going to skip this weigh-in. My TOM finally decided to show up. 3 freakin weeks late. We all know how it makes you feel bloated and usually makes your scale go up for a few days!

Well... my "visitor" left yesterday so I figured I'd go ahead and step on the scale this morning just to see what happens. I for sure was expecting a gain. I've given in to some of my cravings the last couple days and have really lagged on calorie counting and exercise this past week. I'm telling ya that AF showed up with a vengeance!

To my surprise this morning I weighed in at 179.8! Only a loss of .2 but hey, I'll take it!

Time to hop back on my healthy band wagon. I went grocery shopping the other day and picked up on my staples. I also got a few new things:

This is the first greek yogurt I have tried. I was hoping to try the new Yoplait greek yogurt. This one was really good!! I don't think I would like it as much plain, but this one had blueberries in it. It's packed with 10g of protein a serving, so if i'm craving an evening snack, this is perfect. It will fill you up for the rest of the night AND it's only 90 calories! I still want to try and find the Yoplait version though, i'm sure it's cheaper.

Almond milk! I've never tried it, but my best friend swears by it! She even puts it in her cereal in place of regular milk.

It doesn't have much in the way of protein, but it has 0 cholesterol. Only 100mg of sodium, and it's only 50 calories per serving. Each serving being 1 cup (8oz).
I'm not a milk drinker myself, never have been. I'll drink chocolate milk once in a blue moon, but i'm not sure it would go so good with this, who knows I may give it a shot. I'm really wanting to try it with this:
Protein powder! I've been wanting to get some for awhile, but couldn't decide on which brand to get. I don't know much about that stuff, besides it's all so freakin expensive. Also, not really sure what the difference between soy protein and whey protein, but this one looked good. My boyfriend knows a little bit more about that stuff than I do, plus it was only 10 bucks at Walmart for this brand, and it looks like it will last awhile. I plan on mixing it with either almond milk or 2 % with maybe a little chocolate, maybe some peanut butter for a good post workout protein shake. You could also mix it with water, or really any beverage of your choice. You could even add a scoop of it when making smoothies. Each scoop contains 20 grams of protein. However since the scoop is so big I would probably only do half a scoop or so. I get plenty of other protein in my diet I think, so I don't need quite that much. It's great post workout though to help muscle recovery and also helps keep you full.

Lets see.. What else is going on lately. Not much, just homework and housework. The usual. Went to the movies last night. Saw The Last Song. Despite it's bad reviews, I actually liked it. I'm a sucker for tear jerkers though. Came home and the boy cleaned the entire kitchen and even mopped the floor while I was gone! Such a nice surprise, I love it when they clean without you having to nag.

I stayed up entirely too late last night, came home and watched my tivo'd shows. I watched American Idol: what a waste of an hour! I don't even know why I continue to watch it, none of those people are really that great. The only one that doesn't terribly annoy me is Crystal. Oh and that Aaron kid, he's not the greatest, but he's a cutie pie.

Loved Biggest Loser! That show is always so inspiring. I'll admit though, I can't get through an entire episode without getting a little teary eyed haha! Last night made me get excited for my first 5k coming up in September. That means I gotta do work! I wanna be able to run that sucker, not just walk.

And lastly my wonderful Glee! One of my faveys. I though last night's eppy was pretty good. Love Kristin Chenowith, she's got amazing pipes. The rest of the episode was kinda sappy. I liked it, but I really like the comedy this show usually brings. Jane Lynch (Cheerio's Coach) is my favorite character, she is HIlarious!

Okie dokie- time for me to get off my ass and get some laundry done. Hope everyone else is having a fantastic week!

Friday, April 23, 2010


Woohoo for Friday! And the sun is shining!!!!

Anyone got any good plans for the weekend? I don't have much going on. Probably just some cleaning/laundry and catch up on my chemistry homework. I know I said I was going to get it all done last monday/tuesday but that didn't happen! I know, I know, i'm bad. I'm horrible at procrastinating. Just feelin sorta burnt out with school right now, no motivation or anything. Just gotta push through it I guess.

My man's mom is coming into town this weekend. Just found out last night. And as if I wasn't stressed out enough as it is, with all my homework to catch up on. Now SHE has to come into town. Oh well, I refuse to let her get to me ANYMORE! I'm officially done with her trying to ruin my life. I'm not going to keep her from her grandson. I've tried to be civil to her whenever she comes around, but that doesn't seem to do any good. She just wants to be a B and cause trouble. I've never done anything to her, she's just hateful to everyone. The two-faced manipulating, no one is good enough for me type! AAAHHHH!!

Okay, I feel so much better after getting that off my chest, but seriously, I'm done letting her stress me out. I'm not going to let her get to me anymore, I'll just ignore her if that's what it takes.

This weekend is going to be great regardless. Going to get my homework caught up, and get outside and have some fun, get some exercise.


Drum roll please...

So a new follower (Yay!) brought up a good point of asking me what my stats were. I guess If I'm going to blog about my weightloss (er.. attempt at least) journey, I need to say what my stats are, so here goes:

Ht: 5'1 Yep, I'm a shorty!

Starting wt: 180
Current weight is also 180

Goal ht: 5'7 HAHA KIDDING! (i wish)
Goal wt: 115-120

A few weeks ago I started an lost like a pound and gained back one and a half. Don't know what happened there, but oh well. So here I go, starting again.

Those of you who follow the LoseIt app forums may have read a little bit about my "how I got to this point" story. I'll go ahead and give a short version anyway:

Let's see, I weighed about 120 as a senior in hs. Even though I was thin, I still felt fat. I guess it was just a self-esteem issue. Now I wish I could be 120 again, I would appreciate it so much more! Instead of gaining the "fm 15" I gained like 25-30 pounds over the next several years. At 150 I still didn't feel comfortable in my skin, but I don't think I looked terrible. I had a lot more confidence then , than I do now. Then I got pregnant, gained 40 lbs. Lost only about 20 After I had the baby. I wound up gaining about 10 of that back though. I was just under so much stress that I didn't have time to pay attention to how I was eating or take care of myself.

My son was diagnosed with cancer, we had to spend a great deal of time in the hospital. The cafeteria was open all hours of the night, and I was bored and stressed, so that led to alot of late night snacking.

Now that my little man is getting better, there aren't all of those distractions anymore. I've realized just how bad things have gotten, how bad I've let myself go and it's time I take care of myself a little more and get back in shape. This time for good. I want to lead a long and healthy life with my son!!

So whats your stories? What led you to gain weight and what made you finally decide to take control of your life?

Thursday, April 22, 2010


Yay! I figured out how to jazzity jazz up my blog :)

There's still a few things I'd like to figure out how to add, but at least i'm getting better at it.

How is everyone else's day going? It's been pretty gloomy and rainy here today. I'm hoping it's not going to be like this all weekend, I miss the sunshine already.

Has anyone ever noticed how much happier you feel and how much more energy you have when it's warm and sunny? On days like today I can't help but feel lazy and unmotivated.

I think I've decided I'm going to start doing Weigh-in Wednesdays. Right smack dab in the middle of the week so we'll see how that goes. I want to get some goals posted up on my sidebar as well, I like how people do that. My weigh-in's will start next week. After the week i've had there's no way i'm doing it this week, that would just be discouraging haha.


Fell off the wagon:(

I started my weightloss journey back on the last day of March. After about two weeks of eating healthy and working out for about an hour a day, I just wasn't seeing ANY progress on the scale. I wasn't sure what's up, so FRUSTRATING.

I just kept telling myself I just have to STICK with it, and I would start seeing some results. Then I wound up getting sick and didn't have any ENERGY to exercise, BLEH:(

Needless to say, I've sort of FELL OFF THE WAGON the past few days.

I've been under so much STRESS lately! So that doesn't help matters much. I really just need to get back to staying on top of my calorie count and eating right. Can't let myself get discouraged and stop or else i'm never going to get anywhere. Besides, this has to be a lifestyle change, not just a temporary deal.

I've read some new blogs that were really inspiring and encouraging. Just what I needed!!

Also, i'm sort of obsessed with the scale. I will wind up weighing myself several times a day, and I think that is setting me up for failure. I just need to hide the damn thing and just weight myself every other week for awhile, then maybe i'll change it to once a week.

So what do you guys do when you get discouraged? Or how do you stay on track when you are under alot of stress? I know alot of you are in school as well so you know how I feel. Besides school I also have a one year old. Don't get me wrong, I love my son and my life and I am very blessed, sometimes I just feel overwhelmed though. So when you are stressed out, what keeps you from not just saying screw the diet??

Wednesday, April 21, 2010


So here it is almost 5am and I'm still awake!!! I don't know why I allow anxiety to rule my life like this. I've been feeling really anxious the past few days. Mentally it's not so bad, but it's the physical aspects of anxiety that are so damn nerve wracking. Feeling light headed and dizzy for no reason at all, not being able to control it. That's why I can't sleep. Even when I lay down I feel like the room is spinning. So here I am, 5 am, drinking a glass of ice water waiting until it stops and I can go to sleep.

I hope no one is reading this blog thinking i'm completely insane. I know anxiety is really hard for people to understand. Even my boyfriend has a hard time knowing what I go through or how to help, but he tries his best. I know it can't be easy. I hate dealing with this. It feels like you are stuck inside your own head and can't get out.

I was laying in bed thinking to myself, just how did it get to this point? Where did the anxiety come from? Why do I feel so out of control with my emotions and how they effect me? I used to feel so in control of my life. I think in a way it's sort of like ptsd ( post traumatic stress disorder.) I just had so many terrible things happen to me the past several years and all of this stress just built up and somehow has managed to overtake my life from me.

This is pretty personal stuff, but my mom died when I was 19. It was completely unexpected and shocking. It thats not enough to cause it, it gets worse. I didn't get very good grades afterwards, so I decided to move closer to home and transfer schools. Then I wind up getting laid off from my job and having to move in with my dad for awhile. Then I finally get back out on my own and start going back to school and wind up in a bad car accident. I wasn't able to work for months, so I got behind on bills. Then I started working again and finished school. Not anything special but a small degree. I eventually met this really great guy and way on down the road we wound up moving in together, and then I found out I was going to have a baby. Wasn't exactly planned, but I was happy about it. We made the mistake of deciding to move in with his mom to save up money for a house. BIG mistake. Ladies, if you are reading this. Do not make that move!!! If the woman is nice, maybe it would work. And as far as I knew she was nice. By the time we got down there, big 360. She turned into a megabitch. I have no idea why she hates me, I've never done anything to her, but she hates everyone. That whole thing is a whole 'notha story that would take FOREVER! lol. Anywho, she kicked us out when I was about 6 months pregnant. For no reason. I think she was mad that she found out we were having a boy, cuz she kicked us out that day! We moved out into an apartment and dealt with that stupid town for a bit until we could save money to move back home. Finally we got back to our hometown and was happy and got jobs. Then one day we took our son in for what sounded like a cold and found out he has cancer.

The most important thing is that he is healthy now. He's off treatment and his tumor continues to shrink. I still stress over other things though. I quit my job when he got sick and now we are running low on the money we had saved up. It's hard for me to find a job because of the hours B works, plus no one to watch little man.

Wow that was long!!! If you've already given up reading this post, I forgive ya! If you're still here, God bless you! I feel a little bit better getting that off my chest. I guess I have a reason for all of this anxiety, that's alot for someone to experience before their 26th birthday. And that's not even all of it. I think seeing a therapist would be beneficial, but can't afford it without insurance. It's okay, I'll figure it all out. Just need to try and relax and take it one day at a time. If I could get through all of that and make it out on the other side, I'm sure not going to let anxiety stop me!! Well, think i'm going to try and get some sleep now, little man will be up soon.

Monday, April 19, 2010


I did a bad, bad thing today! Yeah, that's right!! I had a royal turtle sundae from Sheridan's. It was so freakin' good, but after I ate it, my stomach felt sick with guilt and shame!! I L-O-V-E ice cream. It is my weakness. I've been so proud of myself the past few days eating so healthy, then bam! I let my sweet tooth get the best of me. I've got to learn better self control, I tell ya!

Although I did a bad thing, I don't feel so bad now. We went to the park afterwards and took a hike for about 2 hours on the trail and did some kite flying. I had so much fun, and burned some calories while I was at it. We are going to go again tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it. We had a discussion lately about spending too much time indoors. Also spending too much time on the computer. As much as I love technology, sometimes I resent it. It becomes a crutch, and we lose communication and touch with the real world ya know? So, that's been one of our goals lately, to spend less time on the computer or watching tv and just spending more time together. Plus, I have a one year old and he just loves to be outside exploring and it's a big, big world out there for him to discover. Last week we went and bought flowers to plant outside. We also picked up some kites, a frisbee, and bubbles. So now we can get outside and get exercise and have a good time together, just the three of us.

I gotta tell ya though, that walk left me a little winded!! That's a good motivator. I want to be able to run that trail by the end of the summer. Wait a minute, don't want to get too ahead of myself lol. I'll get there though. For some reason I'm just not a good runner. I'm just so out of shape and need to lose this extra weight. It'll happen though, just have to keep at it and be patient. Pretty soon I'll be running past B and the baby in the stroller instead of being the one to lag behind we they want to go fast.

I wish I could figure out how to do more to my blog. I'm not good at all the html stuff. I see that alot of people have created a weight loss countdown on the side of their blog. Also, they put up the links to the blogs they frequent. I want to do that, I just don't know how.

Last but not least, don't forget about Light The Night, I mentioned it in my previous blog. If you want to donate to the leukemia and lymphoma society the link to my fundraising page is

Wow! It's been awhile.

I haven't posted anything in a while. Partially because I guess I really haven't had much to say lately. Also I've just been so freakin busy with homework and chasing my little man around. Got Little man's Mri results back last week. The tumor has continued to shrink, Yay!! He still has to go in once a month for a check up though and get scans every three months. I'm just so happy he doesn't have to be on treatment anymore:)

So it's almost towards the end of the semester and I'm about to go insane. I have so much work to get caught up on as it is, and then finals will be coming up. I know it's mostly my fault for letting myself get as behind as I did. I have 8 chemistry labs to catch up on the next two days and I am not looking forward to it. And the labs is just the beginning of it...

On a positive note, I'm really proud of myself for staying on top of my calorie counts and eating properly. A lot of good that does me though when I haven't exercise since like the middle of last week. Oh well, can't be too down on myself I guess. I don't know whats wrong with me lately. I'm tired all of the time and have been feeling like crap the past few days. I haven't even felt like I've had the energy to get a workout in. I really think it's probably a combination of being stressed out right now, and allergy/sinus problems on top of that doesn't help much. Even if I felt better, I still probably wouldn't get in an exercise right now though. I really just have so much other stuff going on, and I've got to make homework a priority. Hopefully I'll feel better and will get caught up with stuff so I can resume my workouts later on this week.

I've signed up for Light The Night and i'm trying to get a team together. It's an annual event put on by the leukemia and lymphoma society. I think it's a really great way to try and raise funds to help cancer research and patients. Since my son got diagnosed last year, being an advocate and raising awareness for cancer is really important to me. I feel like getting out there and taking part in events such as this, is a way that I can do my part and to give back. I know what it's like to have a child with cancer and other family members and It is so important that people do what they can to help. I know the economy is in a terrible position right now, but if we can all just give a little, we can make a big difference. Cancer is a scary, dark word. We have all known someone close to be effected, and it's time that we take a stand and try to help, so a cure can be found. If you are interested there are Light The Night walks all over the US and in Canada. You don't have to be in perfect shape, it's not a race, just a walk. To find an event in your city, check out I will post a link later if anyone would be interested in making a donation.

Wow, didn't mean to write a novel!!

Thats it for now, Hope everyone has a wonderful week!!

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Just another Sunday

Such a beautiful day. Haven't been out though, having trouble getting motivated to do anything. I love Sundays. At the same time I don't look forward to them because that's when I have all of my homework due. I know, I know, I shouldn't wait until the very last day to do it. I'm just horrible at putting things off, but I'm workin on changing that. I don't mind homework, but chemistry has been rattling my brain lately.

Haven't gotten to my workout yet today, but I haven't been able to get my son to take a nap so that's part of it. I have eaten very healthy today though, so I'm happy about that.

Here's what I've had so far today:
Fiber One cereal
1/3 of a banana
Cottage cheese and pineapple
Steamed tilapia and veggies
Thomas' 100% whole wheat bagel thin
Laughing cow light cheese garlic and herb flavor

And I'm still 595 calories under my daily limit, so If I can still have a snack or two later if I get hungry.

I've recently started using this Iphone app called Lose it! It's awesome, and free. I use it to track my calories and my exercise. You really don't realize how much you are eating until you start adding up your calories, it's crazy. This app is so helpful and I think it's really going to help me in changing my lifestyle, being healthy and getting fit. Also, there is an amazing online community for the app, free also, and everyone is so helpful and motivating. I do recommend double checking the nutrition info though that the app has with the actual label, cuz sometimes it is wrong, and when you are counting calories, every bit counts.

Other than that nothing else that interesting going on.

Guess It's time to do some chemistry. Have a great week!

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Happy Saturday

Perhaps I am finally starting to get the hang of this thing. Kind of still trying to figure out all of the html crap though, I haven't messed with any of that since high school, but I'll get there.

So glad it's finally the weekend! Had a wonderful day with my sister and nephew. We took the boys to the mall. I was bad and had gelato, but it was so damn good. And, I googled it when I got home, it's only 140ish calories so that's not too bad.

I made up for it and had a salad for dinner. I'm one of those types that have never been a salad eater. My taste buds are just so picky. I don't like lettuce, hate the texture. Not real big on alot of the other typical salad stuff either.

Thing is, if you want to be a healthy eater, you've got to try and get on the salad bandwagon. Fortunately for me, I've found one that I really LOVE. So if you don't typically like salad, you've got to try this, because I'm sure you will like it just as much as I do. Here's what I typically put in mine:

Baby spinach
grilled chicken strips ( if you are like me and don't always have the time to do the chicken yourself, just bad the precooked bags like the tyson's. They work great)
feta cheese ( optional)
mandarin oranges
sometimes i slice up a strawberry and throw some of that in there
white balsamic vinaigrette dressing

It is soooooo good, and low in calories. I have it at least once a week with a handful of almonds. Makes for a nice little lunch/dinner.

Food For Thought

The Naked Chef's Jamie Oliver is working hard at changing the way American schools feed our children. He has a new show on Friday nights called Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution. I love that show and think it's fantastic what he is trying to do. America has a real problem with obesity, and people are getting very serious health issues. I remember school food not being the best, but wow, before watching this show I didn't realize it has gotten this bad.

I know that I am not a shining example of healthy eating, but It is something I am working hard on trying to change. I've realized lately just how important it is to be mindful of what we are putting in our bodies. I've found this awesome app called Lose It. It allows me to count my calories and keep track of my exercise. I've always struggled with trying this diet and that diet and nothing worked. I think Lose It is going to help me shed the pounds, to get fit, and to make a great lifestyle change, but more on that later...

Anyhow, I absolutely support what Jamie is trying to do. Hopefully he can get the message spread across the country and get some real changes made. I saw a little girl today that was 5 years old and 92 lbs. I was so bothered by that. It isn't the little girl's fault, but I feel really bad for her. I don't understand. What are people feeding their children? Although what Jamie is doing is great, teaching our children healthy habits has to start at home. Instilling healthy habits now will set them up for choosing healthier options later on in life.

Have you seen the show? What do you guys think?


Friday, April 9, 2010

Welcome to Desperately Seeking Sarah

The life and mind of a midwest momma.

I've been a stay at home mom and a student for the past six months. I quit my job when my son was diagnosed with cancer.

Thankfully now he is getting better, but since I can't stay home forever, I have to figure out who I am, and what it is I'm supposed to do with my life. I'm young, and although being a mom is my MOST important job, it can't be my only job. I Love staying home with my son, but that doesn't pay the bills.

I've created this shiny new blog as an outlet for my many thoughts. I'm pretty opinionated, and I love hearing others thoughts on just about every topic under the sun. What can I say? I'm a talker, but I also love being a listener.

I'll use this site to help bring awareness to childhood cancer and to let everyone know all of the events and ways you can help support the cause. It is something that is very near and dear to my heart and something I plan on contributing my personal time to, every chance I get. I feel as a mom of a child with cancer, It is my duty to help spread the message and get people involved and to give back any way I can.

This isn't a blog of any particular purpose, just kind of a catch all of my thoughts and reflections, opinions, ideas and my thoughtless ramblings. I'm a random girl. I'm not always the best with words, can't promise it will all be exciting and don't even get me started with grammar. I wouldn't expect much in that department.

Until next time,