starting over

I haven't posted in awhile. I've been so frickin stressed out over finals and catching up on end of the semester crap. Sadly I let it effect my eating. I've eaten horribly for like the past two weeks and haven't worked out and let me tell ya my body can tell the difference!!!

I feel like crap, I feel tired. I feel stressed. My body feel's stressed. I don 't feel as energetic. I feel like I get exerted more easily than when i'm treating my body right. But i'm glad I'm feeling all of these things because i've learned my lesson.

I can't keep messing up because i'm stressed out and it just seems easier. That's a cop out. It's not worth it to my health for me to eat JUNK. It may trick my mind that it taste good, but c'mon it doesn't taste THAT GOOD. It doesn't taste good enough to be doing what it is to my body.

So tomorrow i'm starting over. It's back to healthy eating, counting all my calories (every single crumb) and forcing myself to get my exercise in every single day.

We went grocery shopping today and got lots of good healthy stuff, so i'm ready and good to go.

I'm ready to commit to this. I want to get healthy and in shape. I'm not going to let you win anymore, food. I am in CONTROL. Not you! I'm calling the shots from now on!!

Hope everyone is having a fantastic week! Kimi- So sorry to hear about your friend. Even though you weren't very close it's still a tragedy. It's always very sad and heartbreaking for someone to lose thier life, especially that way. My thoughts and prayers are with you:)

Losing loved one's is hard. Let that remind us that life is fragile and unexpected. Let that be a reminder to live our lives well, to be happy and healthy.

I admit it...

I just ate Burger King for dinner. Ya I know, it's not good for ya. Feel free to yell at me if ya like.

Thing is, I thought it sounded good. I had a really nice healthy salad for lunch and so I figured, what the hay? I'm not going to lie. I can't be one of those people that are going to say "I'm never going to eat fast food or anything bad ever again." That simply wouldn't be the truth. I know it. But I think as long as you are trying to eat healthy 95% of the time, that it's okay to indulge once in a while. Definitely not often, but every now and then is okay. I'm not endorsing the idea, that's just how I feel for me.

So there ya have it. The UGLY TRUTH of what I had for dinner. Oh well, life goes on right?

I don't feel guilty. I've been working out really hard the past three days. That new workout dvd is really kicking my ass and I'm lovin it. My muscles are so sore that I can barely move, not an exaggeration. I just push myself though and a continue to give 110% to every work out. It may hurt now, but I'll be glad I did it in the long run.

I haven't been counting calories for like the past week. Not really sure if that's a good idea or not yet. I still pay attention to what i'm eating and measure out servings. And I still try to make sure what i'm eating is healthy (besides tonight's dinner, obvi.) I just feel like when I was counting my calories with Lose It and writing down every little thing, obsessing about it almost made it harder to do. Hmm, not really sure how to explain. I think It just felt like more of a chore ya know? Almost as If i wasn't enjoying my food as much. I may go back to it, I love Lose It, it's a great program and a big help, I just decided to see how it went without it for a week or two.

I'm proud of myself for not stepping on the scale so much lately. I've really tried to ignore that number and just keep doing what i'm doing. If i'm feeling good and eating well and exercising, I feel good and I know it's going to slowly come off, why obsess so much about the number? It's just a number. It's not worth letting it upset me and making me want to quit trying.

So what do you guys think? Are you disappointed in my slip up? Any new workouts got you excited this week? And how do you do things.. do you write down every single calorie and add it up or just pay attention to what you eat and try to keep it healthy? Which way works best for you?

welcome,w.i.w & more

First off welcome Anini, my newest follower. Welcome, thanks for joining! Thanks for the comment as well. Yes I did enjoy that birthday cheesecake, although I felt so overly stuffed and gross afterwards. Oops.

So here we are again for weigh-in wednesday. My how the week goes so fast. Let's go ahead and jump right into the results: I weighed in this morning at 178.8! I only lost 1lb since last week, but i'm not going to let it get me down. Besides, it was birthday time so I did cheat a little. I don't regret it.

Remember ladies, sometimes we've got to ignore that number and just keep pushing through. The scale fluctuates so much anyway due to water weight/time of day you weigh/ TOM etc.. As long as you are feeling good and you notice your clothes fitting better, having more energy, you are doing things right. The scale will catch up eventually. I may need you to remind me of that at one point, so try and remember! I really need to locate my measuring tape thingy and start measuring once a month as well. Even if the scale isn't being kind, knowing that i'm losing inches will make me :) !


I got a brand new workout dvd for my birthday. Yay! It was one that my sister recommended me. She has been doing it for about a month and has lost 15lbs and significant inches already, so i'm on board! It's the Biggest Loser Last Chance Workout dvd.


This video is INTENSE! It will seriously kick your butt!

What I personally like so much about this workout is that it uses High Intensity Interval Training. It's the first time i've tried circuit training and I LOVE IT!

The workouts include:
~ Warm-up (5 mins)
~ Last Chance Workout (25 mins)- just awesome! It's a rotation of 30 secs cardio, 30 secs strength training nonstop for the 25 min duration. You will be feeling it afterwards!
~ Upper body sculpt ( 10 mins)
~ Lower body tone (10 mins)
~ Cool down (5 mins)

You can choose to do the workouts individually or you can do the last chance workout program, which I am doing. It breaks it into 3 two-week sections. I just started yesterday and week one goes a little something like this:
M,W,F- warm up, last chance workout, cool down.
T-Th-S, warm up, upper body sculpt, lower body tone, cool down


This is my first Biggest Loser video, and I am a believer. Plus it was only 9 bucks at Walmart, you can't beat that! I'm sure to be buying more of these.

My boyfriend was watching me do it last night. He kept saying it looked easy. He's thin and not that out of shape so that's what he thinks. I made him do it after I finished. Boy was he wrong! By the time he was done he had sweat dripping down his face! Ha-ha!

Go out and get this video!!! Your ass may be mad at you for a few days, but you'll be glad ya did!

Also got a spiffy new blender. Yay! Made two really good post workout protein smoothies so far. I don't use recipes, I just come up with my own, and I like naming them lol . ( I don't have a pic for the first, but I do the second one.)

Sunrise Delight - Yum!
Juicy Juice Orange Tangerine juice
Ice
EAS vanilla protein powder
Frozen fruit ( bananas,strawberries, and peaches)

The one I made today was AWESOME:
I call this one the PB&J protein smoothie. It taste exactly like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Some of you might be thinking Yuck! But, it's actually really GOOD. I didn't mean for it to turn out that way, it was by accident but I am so glad. Here's what I put in it:

PB & J protein smoothie:
2% milk
Hershey's liquid chocolate milk mix
peanut butter
EAS vanilla protein powder
ice
Frozen berries (blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, and strawberries)


I will most definitely be making this one again. It tasted heavenly! It turned out looking like this:







Ahh, so good!

Well that's it for tonight guys. Man, I don't know if i'm doing it wrong or what but it seems like it takes forever to post these pictures and get them situated just right. It's alot of work, so thanks for reading! I'll be back later this week with some more updates on how the dvd's going and some more pics ( probably some ones of me this time)

May happiness and healthy thoughts be with you this week!!!!!!

birthday

So tomorrow's my birthday. Yay. I'll be 26. Not so much on the Yay there. Oh well..

Had an awesome time with my sister today. We had a girls day( well plus my son) and did a little shopping and she took me out to dinner for my bday.

I have AVOIDED buying jeans for a very long time. Sadly, I just wore my maternity jeans forever because they were comfy. I didn't feel quite so appealing in them, but with the shirts I wore you probably couldn't even tell. Sadly it is time for those pants to be thrown away. Too many holes in them. I was forced to actually buy a new pair of jeans today. It was so DEPRESSING.

Those of you that have had a child, you know what i'm talking about. I feel like I don't know how to even dress my own body anymore. Usually I just wear these capri/sweat type pants and a tshirt. Not very flattering I know. But it's comfortable. However, I don't think I'm going to be able to wear this out to my birthday dinner. AND next month I am meeting some of my boyfriend's family for the first time. His grandparents from Florida are coming into town next month and we'll be meeting them in St. Louis for a few days. I don't want to dress like a total slob. That doesn't set a very good first impression.

Back to what I was saying with the jeans/having a baby thing. Pre-baby I wore a size 10 in jeans. Which still isn't my ideal, but wasn't terrible. Today I purchased one pair of size 18 JEANS!!!! I have NEVER had to buy that size before. Now i'm not knocking people that wear that size, don't take it the wrong way. I'm short! That makes a big difference. This is not good news.

Tomorrow I will be 26. I will be wearing a frickin size 18 jeans. I will be i'm guessing around 179lbs. My next birthday that is NOT HAPPENING!

Mark my words, by my 27th birthday, I WILL be wearing a size 10 jeans or less. Hold me accountable, because i'm going to make it happen.

I no longer feel comfortable in clothes. I don't feel comfortable or healthy in my body and that has to stop NOW.

Forget vanity. Forget self-esteem. Forget buying cute clothes. Think of any good reason right now why you want to lose weight and just throw that out the window. There is only one reason that should be in your mind right now that should be the driving force for you to stay on track every day.

L---I---F---E

Heart disease is the number 1 silent killer for women. That is a very real and very scary statistic. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be a statistic.

So next time you want that cheeseburger or that soft drink or ice cream ( yeah I said it, and you know I love my ice cream.) I want you to think about that statistic.

Do you want to enjoy that few moments of eating something unhealthy or do you want to enjoy and long and healthy life?

I'm not saying don't EVER eat that stuff. That's not realistic. I'm not going to lie to you. Today I had no birthday dessert and I ate a pretty sensible meal. But when I go out for my birthday dinner at my favorite place (cheesecake factory) on Monday, there is a piece of red velvet cheesecake with my name on it.

I know, I know, that doesn't quite go with what I just said.

but after all, It IS my birthday. I'll probably share it with the boyfriend too, I don't need a whole slice.

But let health be the overall driving force for staying on track on a daily basis. Indulging for a special occasion like a birthday is okay, but not all the time.

Just think about that. That's all i'm saying. And if you are like me, and you carry alot of extra weight in your stomach, that's putting you even more at risk for heart disease and other health issues.

Let that get you motivated this weekend.

Have a good one everyone! I'm gonna go work my butt off so I can earn that birthday dessert.

Weigh In Wednesday (and some other things)

Okay peeps, so I was totally going to skip this weigh-in. My TOM finally decided to show up. 3 freakin weeks late. We all know how it makes you feel bloated and usually makes your scale go up for a few days!

Well... my "visitor" left yesterday so I figured I'd go ahead and step on the scale this morning just to see what happens. I for sure was expecting a gain. I've given in to some of my cravings the last couple days and have really lagged on calorie counting and exercise this past week. I'm telling ya that AF showed up with a vengeance!

To my surprise this morning I weighed in at 179.8! Only a loss of .2 but hey, I'll take it!

Time to hop back on my healthy band wagon. I went grocery shopping the other day and picked up on my staples. I also got a few new things:

This is the first greek yogurt I have tried. I was hoping to try the new Yoplait greek yogurt. This one was really good!! I don't think I would like it as much plain, but this one had blueberries in it. It's packed with 10g of protein a serving, so if i'm craving an evening snack, this is perfect. It will fill you up for the rest of the night AND it's only 90 calories! I still want to try and find the Yoplait version though, i'm sure it's cheaper.


Almond milk! I've never tried it, but my best friend swears by it! She even puts it in her cereal in place of regular milk.

It doesn't have much in the way of protein, but it has 0 cholesterol. Only 100mg of sodium, and it's only 50 calories per serving. Each serving being 1 cup (8oz).
I'm not a milk drinker myself, never have been. I'll drink chocolate milk once in a blue moon, but i'm not sure it would go so good with this, who knows I may give it a shot. I'm really wanting to try it with this:
Protein powder! I've been wanting to get some for awhile, but couldn't decide on which brand to get. I don't know much about that stuff, besides it's all so freakin expensive. Also, not really sure what the difference between soy protein and whey protein, but this one looked good. My boyfriend knows a little bit more about that stuff than I do, plus it was only 10 bucks at Walmart for this brand, and it looks like it will last awhile. I plan on mixing it with either almond milk or 2 % with maybe a little chocolate, maybe some peanut butter for a good post workout protein shake. You could also mix it with water, or really any beverage of your choice. You could even add a scoop of it when making smoothies. Each scoop contains 20 grams of protein. However since the scoop is so big I would probably only do half a scoop or so. I get plenty of other protein in my diet I think, so I don't need quite that much. It's great post workout though to help muscle recovery and also helps keep you full.

Lets see.. What else is going on lately. Not much, just homework and housework. The usual. Went to the movies last night. Saw The Last Song. Despite it's bad reviews, I actually liked it. I'm a sucker for tear jerkers though. Came home and the boy cleaned the entire kitchen and even mopped the floor while I was gone! Such a nice surprise, I love it when they clean without you having to nag.

I stayed up entirely too late last night, came home and watched my tivo'd shows. I watched American Idol: what a waste of an hour! I don't even know why I continue to watch it, none of those people are really that great. The only one that doesn't terribly annoy me is Crystal. Oh and that Aaron kid, he's not the greatest, but he's a cutie pie.

Loved Biggest Loser! That show is always so inspiring. I'll admit though, I can't get through an entire episode without getting a little teary eyed haha! Last night made me get excited for my first 5k coming up in September. That means I gotta do work! I wanna be able to run that sucker, not just walk.

And lastly my wonderful Glee! One of my faveys. I though last night's eppy was pretty good. Love Kristin Chenowith, she's got amazing pipes. The rest of the episode was kinda sappy. I liked it, but I really like the comedy this show usually brings. Jane Lynch (Cheerio's Coach) is my favorite character, she is HIlarious!

Okie dokie- time for me to get off my ass and get some laundry done. Hope everyone else is having a fantastic week!

Fridayyyyy

Woohoo for Friday! And the sun is shining!!!!

Anyone got any good plans for the weekend? I don't have much going on. Probably just some cleaning/laundry and catch up on my chemistry homework. I know I said I was going to get it all done last monday/tuesday but that didn't happen! I know, I know, i'm bad. I'm horrible at procrastinating. Just feelin sorta burnt out with school right now, no motivation or anything. Just gotta push through it I guess.

My man's mom is coming into town this weekend. Just found out last night. And as if I wasn't stressed out enough as it is, with all my homework to catch up on. Now SHE has to come into town. Oh well, I refuse to let her get to me ANYMORE! I'm officially done with her trying to ruin my life. I'm not going to keep her from her grandson. I've tried to be civil to her whenever she comes around, but that doesn't seem to do any good. She just wants to be a B and cause trouble. I've never done anything to her, she's just hateful to everyone. The two-faced manipulating, no one is good enough for me type! AAAHHHH!!

Okay, I feel so much better after getting that off my chest, but seriously, I'm done letting her stress me out. I'm not going to let her get to me anymore, I'll just ignore her if that's what it takes.

This weekend is going to be great regardless. Going to get my homework caught up, and get outside and have some fun, get some exercise.

ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND, EVERYONE!

Drum roll please...

So a new follower (Yay!) brought up a good point of asking me what my stats were. I guess If I'm going to blog about my weightloss (er.. attempt at least) journey, I need to say what my stats are, so here goes:

Ht: 5'1 Yep, I'm a shorty!

Starting wt: 180
Current weight is also 180

Goal ht: 5'7 HAHA KIDDING! (i wish)
Goal wt: 115-120

A few weeks ago I started an lost like a pound and gained back one and a half. Don't know what happened there, but oh well. So here I go, starting again.

Those of you who follow the LoseIt app forums may have read a little bit about my "how I got to this point" story. I'll go ahead and give a short version anyway:

Let's see, I weighed about 120 as a senior in hs. Even though I was thin, I still felt fat. I guess it was just a self-esteem issue. Now I wish I could be 120 again, I would appreciate it so much more! Instead of gaining the "fm 15" I gained like 25-30 pounds over the next several years. At 150 I still didn't feel comfortable in my skin, but I don't think I looked terrible. I had a lot more confidence then , than I do now. Then I got pregnant, gained 40 lbs. Lost only about 20 After I had the baby. I wound up gaining about 10 of that back though. I was just under so much stress that I didn't have time to pay attention to how I was eating or take care of myself.

My son was diagnosed with cancer, we had to spend a great deal of time in the hospital. The cafeteria was open all hours of the night, and I was bored and stressed, so that led to alot of late night snacking.

Now that my little man is getting better, there aren't all of those distractions anymore. I've realized just how bad things have gotten, how bad I've let myself go and it's time I take care of myself a little more and get back in shape. This time for good. I want to lead a long and healthy life with my son!!

So whats your stories? What led you to gain weight and what made you finally decide to take control of your life?